That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
