I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
