85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
