I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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