honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
