I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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