The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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