He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
