it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
