Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
