The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
we're so committed to being not committed
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize