so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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