He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
