in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You can't motorboat a personality
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize