How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
