I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
As shirtless as possible
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
