I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
