You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
