his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
