He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
