Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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