Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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