if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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