Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize