I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
ttyl tear gas
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
