OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
