if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
