True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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