Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
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