Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
