you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
