I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
