I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
