We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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