when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
