What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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