Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
