we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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