At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
ttyl tear gas
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
