So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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