Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
