Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
