ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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