Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
