Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
operation harelip BJ is a go
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
