Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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