Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
birth control should be required to get into college
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
