you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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