i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
