I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
