i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
