hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
