Dual....:-)
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I got her a Nickelback box set.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
