I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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