Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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