Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
