Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Randomize
