just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
