people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
