How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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