Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
